Griz Bear Comments: : Using code words to keep government out of my private life
Posted on Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Well, with the lengthy columns Iíve written in defense of a fellowís right to work in his own home, and with the few comments Iíve been heard to make questioning the intrusion of big government into the private lives of its citizens, I bet some of you think I watch for black helicopters too. To be honest with you, I havenít seen any lately. But I am concerned, nevertheless.
The other day, Mrs. Griz and I were watching television and found out that the government really can eavesdrop into just about everything we do. It can set up little video cameras to watch us when weíre out and about, look into our houses with infra-red scopes, and watch us in the dark with night-vision glasses.
The government has satellites up there overhead that can zoom in and take pictures of Mrs. Griz and me when weíre sitting out in the back yard. Itís a good thing the resolution is a bit fuzzy at that range ó we might look a little better from far off.
The government can monitor all our communications with listening devices, satellites and special electronic receivers on planes. It can monitor everything from our CB radios to our e-mails and telephone communications. Nothing is private anymore ! And with the renewal of the Patriot Act, the government can just keep spying on us if it wants to.
What I canít figure out is why it would. Weíve got nothing to hide. But, still, it bugs me to know that it can and maybe is.
I guess thatís why the government has gone to using code words and code names for just about everything it does. That way, if people are eavesdropping on government operations, they wonít be able to figure out what the government is up to. Iím not really sure itís necessary, because most folks canít make much sense out of government operations even when theyíre published in ìplainî English and Spanish.
Even though we have nothing to hide, Mrs. Griz and I kind of like our privacy and donít feel like itís the governmentís business to know everything weíre saying and doing; so we figured weíd start using code names and code words, too, so that the government wouldnít be able to figure out what weíre doing if it decided to start snooping into our private business.
I figured that it was none of the governmentís business that I like to call Mrs. Griz ì Honey, î so we now substitute the code name ì Bee Keeperî for ì Honeyî whenever we talk on the phone.
The government doesnít need to know when weíre going to sit down and eat, so we developed our own codes for meal times too, ì The Early Eventî for breakfast, ì The High Noon Eventî for lunch, and ì The Big Eventî for supper.
Since no one needs to know when Mrs. Griz is going to start cooking, we call that ì Operation Toast. î If Iím going to be late, I just tell her that ì I missed the mark. î But, if Iím driving in my pickup truck and expect to be home on time to eat, I tell her that ì Iím right on target. î
Just last night, I wanted tell my ì Honeyî that my work was going well and Iíd be home in time for supper; so I called her on my cell phone and said, ì Bee Keeper, you can commence Operation Toast. Iím right on target for the Big Event. î
Iím sure that communications like these will keep those government eavesdroppers confused about Mrs. Griz and me and discourage them from invading our privacy !
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