Griz Bear Comments: On looking for perfection
Posted on Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Though it might not be obvious by my work, I have always been somewhat of a perfectionist. If I canít do something right, Iíd just as soon not do it at all.
My mom tells me that I was a bit that way from little on. Iíd lay out a farm set and get everything put in place, but then not play with it because I didnít want to mess it up.
The years have taught me that I make mistakes. Iíve come to accept the fact and go on. In fact, Iíve even begun to worry a little less about them. After all, though I try to catch the mistakes in the newspaper and fix them before it goes to press, thereís no end to correcting and rewriting and trying to make things read better. Spell checks help a lot, but not when you misspell one word with the correct spelling of another. After reading the same article over a time or two, I finally have to just let it go and hope I havenít missed too many big errors.
I find the same problem in my photography. I strive for the perfect photo ñ one that tells the story, has the subject in sharp focus and has good color or contrast and no unwanted and distracting objects in the background. Unfortunately, that doesnít often happen in the real world, and especially when shooting news photos where there is neither the time nor the opportunity to control the lighting, background or subjectís actions.
In photographing outdoor scenes, I used to always search for that perfect location with no litter, unwanted dead trees or other ugly scars upon the natural setting. Iíve come to find that such scenes are not easy to find. It seems, wherever one goes, there is some mark of manís presence, whether that be a utility line, left-behind litter or junk or some other misplaced structure. And even when one hikes far enough into the hills to see few human scars on the land, the land has enough scars of its own. And some of those remote places which can appear so beautiful in a photograph are actually quite inhospitable to people.
Though the world is filled with so much beauty, it is also filled with death and decay everywhere. Itís just not perfect anymore ! And, no, itís not a recent defect caused by pollution or global warming; the real cause is found in Genesis 3.
Why do I look for perfection in so many things ? Is it a flaw in me ? Or could it be a faint remembering built into my nature of a day when there was perfection ? Why does part of me look for perfection in a world which has no perfection ? Why would I look for something Iíve never known ?
Well, lest you think I am some freak for thinking as I do, let me ask you this ? How many of you have had dreams of what your life would be like ? How many dreamed of working at a job you love, marrying the perfect husband or wife, raising children who listened and always did what was right, and on I could go ? Did any of you grow up dreaming of the day when you would be able to work day after day at a lessthan-desirable job for less pay than you might need ? Did you ask that special someone to be your spouse so that you would have someone with which to disagree and argue at times ? Did you have children in the eager anticipation of the day when they would disobey your wise counsel and get into trouble ? Did you buy that new house or car so you would have something upon which you could spend your money and spare time making repairs or doing maintenance work ?
Wouldnít you agree with me that there is a touch of perfectionism in every one of us ? We look for and dream of that perfect person, that perfect place, that perfect job, or even that one perfect scene to photograph. But it isnít there ñ and if ever it was, it wasnít anymore when we got there !
My point is that, though we may all seek some degree of perfection in our lives, or at least in some areas of our lives ñ perhaps because of a built-in longing for what was lost through the events of Genesis 3 ñ we wonít find it or achieve it here. We are an imperfect people in an imperfect world.
If what Iím saying isnít true, then why is it that every one of us dies and some donít even have the opportunity to do it gradually ? Oh, there is much beauty in this old world ñ even much of it for a guy like me to photograph ñ but there isnít perfection. Even what for a time appears beautiful suffers the results of imperfection, and the beautiful appearance fades. News photos sometimes show those marks of imperfection and remind all of us that the world isnít getting better and better as some unwise dreamers had hoped.
No, Iím not advocating some sort of fatalism ñ giving up and not even striving for perfection. Rather, Iím advocating facing the fact that paradise was indeed lost and wonít be found here anymore. We shouldnít be surprised at the imperfections in this world, the imperfections in other people and even the imperfections in each of us. And, no, spell check wonít remove all of them. Instead, it takes a lot of long-suffering, forbearance and forgiveness ñ the same kind that our Creator has shown to each of us for the sake of His Son.
And, no, Iím not advocating giving up those dreams of perfection. Dream on ! Just know that it wonít be here and now, but later, in the hereafter, for those whose hope rests in the mercy of a perfect Creator for the sake of a perfect sacrifice offered up for an imperfect people in a no-longer-perfect world.
Do you think any of us will be able to take photographs there ? It would really be something to catch that perfect photograph of a perfect subject in the perfect light ! But then, there will be no imperfect scenes, no imperfect people and always perfect light !
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